Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Just Do It

I have to be honest. Since I had my daughter 4, almost 5 months ago, i have struggled. i have struggled with remembering who i am outside of motherhood, i have struggled with trying to be just as good a wife as i was before, i have stuggled with nourishing my friendships, and i have SERIOUSLY struggled with self esteem. As if there isn't enough to worry about when becoming a new mom, like wondering if you're going to be able to handle this massive task, or trying to keep up with all the fantastic, creative mothers around you, now i have to worry about whether or not i will ever be me again.
My daughter is an absolute joy in my life (hence her middle name, Joy) and I could never, in a million years picture my life without this sweet girl.
I had a picture perfect pregnancy, and loved almost every minute of it. (minus the last 3 weeks, because, well the last 3 weeks suck.) The thing about my pregnancy, that i didnt realize then is that i had a HUGE baby bump. like really big. so many people thought i was carrying twins. my unrealistic expectations of getting rid of the baby weight in a month came to a screeching halt when a month had passed and i did not look anything like i did pre baby. So iv had a few melt downs in regard to this. Body image is so terribly hard for me to talk about, as it has haunted me my whole life. So now it begins... it should have begun a while ago, but i think iv been in denial for a few months now. No more putting off, taking off the baby weight. No more sad days wishing my old body would miraculously appear when i wake up in the morning (but how awesome would that be?) Hopefully ill be able to blog about my progress, and im sure that will help with my accountability!
here goes nothing!

1 comment:

  1. Atleast you have a cute, adorable, amazing baby to show for it all..

    I have nothing. And. I'm in the exact same boat.
    You can do it. You have an amazing support system, the best friend(me) a girl could ask for. I will send you motivational texts everyday. Seriously I will.

    I know how you feel. Let's do it together..mmkay!

    AND. for realsies. when you get back. Let's work out together. I'll come down to Mckenzie towne, and you can come up to Northland. kkk...

    love you long time.


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I love to write down my feelings and share them with whoever is interested. I love my small, growing family and feel so blessed to have such a loving, supportive husband who is always by my side.