Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Balance

Sometimes as parents, its hard to believe (or remember) that you were ever anything else.
Sometimes I forget that at one point it was just me and Adam.
That was before bottles, and poop, and a crying baby.
There was a time where we could walk out the door at the drop of a hat and not worry if we were forgetting anything.
When leaving the house didn't include going through my mental list of bringing a diaper bag full of everything Tenley might need in case of any kind of emergency.
Has she had enough to eat so that she is content for these few errands?
Do I have a soother? or two or three incase she drops one on the ground?
Did I pack her an extra sweater incase it gets cold in the next few hours?
Did I grab the cheerios for her to snack on?
Do i have enough diapers? Wipes?

By now, its like no other routine ever existed.
Like I was never anything other than a mom.
Its hard to imagine that there was a time where I got ready and looked nice EVERY day. (i probably wear sweats far more often than my husband would like)
And there was a time where I NEVER would have had a cheerio or two stuck to my bum... These days thats not an unlikely occurrence.

Tonight was precious to me.
Adam and I went out and I was reminded that Im not JUST a mom.
Im a wife, and a best friend, and those are things I cant forget along this journey of motherhood.
Adam and I went on a simple date tonight. Not even a planned date necessarily, but we decided to go the driving range on this beautiful afternoon. It was so fun to just be goofy, and play around.
Then we dropped Tenley off at my sisters house and went out for wing night.
It was simple and wonderful.
Tonight reminded me of the months Adam and I had falling in love and how special that time in my life is to me.
The best part of it is, when Adam and I are out on a date, just the two of us, I still get those same butterflies in my tummy just like I did when we were dating. But now we get to go home together, and go snuggle our baby girl when the night is over.

So now my quest is balance.
Im afraid i've lost mine.
To find myself again in this journey, but to first and foremost be the absolute best mommy I can be to my sweet girl.
I have decided the need to bring things back into my life that are just for ME. As a mom, we tend to think of everyone else first.
So first order of business, I'm remodeling a toy box I bought on kijiji for super cheap.
if it turns out anything like I'm envisioning, I may even blog about it....

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I love to write down my feelings and share them with whoever is interested. I love my small, growing family and feel so blessed to have such a loving, supportive husband who is always by my side.

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