confessions

I always tell people how great a sleeper my little Tenley is. Which is true to a certain extent.... she (usually) sleeps all night through, and I`m so grateful for that, but the thing i dont usually share is that it takes me forever to GET her to sleep, and all of the `props`i have used to get her there.

When she was first born, and I was sleep deprived, coupled with PP depression, I would do anything, and use anything to get her to stay asleep. That means, she now feeds to sleep, and she also sleeps IN her swing every night. I hate admitting that, but at the time when the only thing i needed was a few minutes to myself, that swing was my BEST friend.
I have now created a monster.. a really cute monster.
Once she is asleep, she will stay asleep all night for the most part, but lately it has been taking me 6-8 attemps, lasting hours upon hours to actually get her to fall asleep. I know she is dead tired, but the poor girl just cant fall asleep on her own. She is now at the point where taking the bottle out of her mouth wakes her. Great... now what!!
Its getting to the point where from 8-11pm I am trying to put an exhausted little girl to bed, and when Adam gets home from a long day of work, im miserable,exhausted, frustrated and probably very unpleasant to be around.
So last week I decided to let my sweet baby cry it out. I have wrestled with this idea for weeks now, but for my own sanity I had to do it. I have to start letting her fall asleep on her own, and definitely get her out of the swing.
So last week I let her CIO and I lasted a whole 45 minutes before i couldnt take it anymore, and gave in. I had to rescue her from the heart wrenching cries. I FAILED.
Another week went by of the 2-3 hour bed time, and I decided to give CIO another shot. So last night was day 1 of this method. I am happy to say, it went a lot better than i was expecting! I was fully committed this time, and was prepared to listen to her cry for hours... LUCKILY she only cried for 36 minutes! those 36 minutes felt like forever as I cried along with her, and wished I had ear plugs to block out the saddest cries ever. But i survived.
She slept until 6:30 the next morning, and I was so happy to cuddle her and smother her with kisses when I saw her.
Oh yea, shes also sleeping IN HER CRIB!! I couldnt be more happy about that. Most things I have read say that each night the crying lessens more and more, so the fact that she only cried for 36 minutes makes me very hopeful that tonight will be a little better than last night.